I try really hard not to date and so far it's worked out. Every now and then I give in to the pressure because let's face it; Mr. Romeo isn't going to magically show up on my doorstep! I met this man the other night, after a girlfriend blindsided me with a set up. It was all so quick I didn't have time to analyze my way out of it. At five o'clock she was telling me about him; at six o'clock she was showing me pictures and by six thirty I found myself agreeing to meet him for dinner at eight. I'm clear someone took over my body and said yes, because I had plans to go to the gym and go home. Despite this, at eight o'clock I found myself at the bar waiting for a stranger.

I asked myself, how bad could it really be? She described an intelligent man, stable, well off with a career selling real estate, in his 40's and just looking for a woman to take out and spoil. SPOIL? The tall, dark and handsome part squelched a momentary thought of "too good to be true". He sounded ideal. (This was the momentary memory lapse of previous bad dates i.e. The Gapping Black Hole, Psycho Man or Mr. Falls on His Ass.)

He arrived on time, introductions were made and he started talking, and talking, and talking and talking - he really didn't stop talking. As an extreme Gemini and Queen of Talk, this was a problem! There is nothing worse than when I can't talk - fortunately as I've gotten older I've learned to be little more patient and let others have a turn. I never got a turn! I think after sitting down he talked for ten minutes without taking a breath. When he ended this spiel with "...and I like sex and I'm really horny." I almost spit my wine out! It hadn't even been twenty minutes and he's telling me he's HORNY? (Why is it the guy you don't want tells you this instead of the latest Mr. Hottie who has you drooling?) I almost laughed but instead told him if he was looking for sex, he wasn't getting it from me! He didn't even blink and just started talking about himself again. Every once in a while he'd ask me a question and as soon as I'd try to answer it he'd start talking about himself and his money again! It was seriously comical.

I won't even detail the stories because you wouldn't believe me. Suffice it to say the man has had a gun in his mouth at least once and one wife left him for a woman. What perfect first date disclosure! I thought for sure he would wind down and converse normally - it never happened! Not even after several drinks and cigarettes - yes cigarettes (I'm a Health Educator!) How is it that my cherry on top is a smoker?

Don't get me wrong, he was nice enough and didn't have bad intentions. He just behaved badly! I suppose it's great evidence to continue avoiding dating, but what fun would that be? I had some great half-dates with Mr. Pisces some time back. But the slippery fish is just that, fishy and slippery. He did manage The Perfect First Kiss - the one (I hate to admit this) that belongs in every How-To book on kissing! I also had a great date with Mr. Architect last January (how about that timing!) We met for coffee, talked, laughed and enjoyed each other so much we continued through dinner. We knew we weren't compatible but we had a blast anyway and permanently affected one another. These memories are almost enough to inspire me to delve into the adventures of dating...

Did I mention he emailed me three months later to tell me he was getting married?