Prarie Vole

Ok, I've had my share of jerky man experiences and even bonded with some really bad men.  Despite this, I still don't man-bash.  I don't read man bashing jokes nor do I pass them on.  As a matter of fact, I'm usually the man ally in all my conversations!  Well, atleast the ones that don't apply to me.  (Much like psychics I cannot see my own life clearly in this category!)  Despite this I still do not bash men.  Apparently the media does not feel the same way!

Cheating Gene: Study Abstract

A recent genetic study opened yet another free range assault on the human male!  A study of prarie voles and 552 swedish twins was conducted in Stockholm, Sweden.  This study looked at how the AVPR1A gene, or allele34 gene as it's commonly called, influenced pair bonding roles in VOLES.  That is not a typo, a vole is a version of a prarie mouse found in the Northern Grasslands of America.  This is the Paris Hilton's of mice, the fancy mouse versus the everyday mouse you find around your house.  This pair bonding study, published online September 2nd has given the media something juicy to insert inbetween Obama and Palin jabs!  Here are just a few of the juicy attention getter headlines:

"Infidelity Gene"

"Monogamy Gene"

"Genes Blamed for Infidelity"

"Gene Linked to Commitment Phobia"

"Gene Weakens a Man's Ability to Emotionally Attach to One Partner"

This is a prime example of how the media abuses the general public, who for the most part lacks the necessary scientific and media literacy skills to understand what is really being said!  I won't even touch on sexual literacy!  First of all people today want quick, easy to understand news that's flavored with a little sensationalism.  It's much easier to digest a story called "Gene Linked to Infidelity" than the real story called "Genetic variation in the vasopressin receptor 1a gene ( AVPR1A ) associates with pair-bonding behavior in humans." Exactly.

I have the Ph.D. and I read this thing numerous times in order to break it down.  That should say something since I had years of formal training in research!  The study looked at a hormone called arginine vasopression or AVP.  This hormone influences vole pair bonding behavior.  Think of this sort of like how a lot of testosterone effects 16 year-old male and their pair bonding behavior.  In order for the body to utilize the hormone it has to be picked up by a receptor in the body.  A receptor is like a gate and the hormone must get through the gate to work.  This study looked at how the AVPR1A  gene effected the receptor gate this hormone goes to.  Whew, not so bad is it?

The study showed this gene effects this receptor site and influences how a vole behaves in relationships i.e. pair bonding.

How exactly does that relate to human males?  Well scientists decided to give 552 Swedish couples, the majority married, a questionnaire about relationships.  They were asked questions like how often do they kiss their partner or were there any marital difficulties in the last year.  Those results were then statistically analyzed and they were given a DNA test.

The study showed that males who carry one or more of this variant gene behaved different in relationships then men who lacked the gene based on how they answered the questionnaire.  The differences were lower scores on pair bonding questions and greater odds for marital conflict.  Perceptions of marital status also differed.

Let's break this down.  Any good researcher knows it's impossible to get a perfect sample, but a representative sample helps.  Clearly these are big-wig researchers and they know what they were doing!  Not just anybody can publish in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS).  I'm just finding it hard to believe that 552 Swedish males out of a world population of roughly 3 billion males is representative of how men will behave in relationships.  Call me crazy, but I'm not seeing it.  I'd actually bet money that how much food, sex, sports and nag-free time a man gets in a relationship is not associated, but DIRECTLY related to how he behaves! 

This statistical association now gives rights to say there is "association with a proneness for monogomous behavor in human males".  I won't even go into the numerous holes and questions in the research - that is what doc programs are for.  BUT first of all would African males answer the same way as the Sweds?  What about same-sex partners?  Would there be a difference in people only married 1 year, versus those married 5 and what about newlyweds?   How do we define pair bonding and how is human pair bonding like a prarie mouse, er, um I mean human male.

Nevermind the rigamor of research, let's look at the widely publicized effects of this wonderful scientific study.  (I'm not saying science is bad, I'm a researcher.   My point is literacy and responsible science, reporting and interpretation.)  As I see it here is what we have:

1.  Men are being compared to voles in relationships.

2.  More solidily perceived "scientific data" that men are cheaters, i.e. asses.

3.  More support for male stereotyping.

4.  More data to supprt that "men cannot emotionally attach to one partner".

5.  That men have commitment phobia

The later coming from an idiot reporter who doesn't understand that pair bonding behavior is NOT the same as phobic behavior defined as "an unreasonable fear causing avoidance or panic"!  I could tell you story after story of crappy things I've experienced with men.  I've never been cheated on so maybe I'm skewed, but come on!  Men may be primative in their own right but they are not VOLES!  A vole cannot tell you Lebron's percentage from the line while getting oral sex and drinking a beer.  A vole also can't have this kind of fantasy.

The other thing the headlines aren't going to tell you is the same gene and hormone was studied and found to influence behavior in:  creative dance, sexual reproductive behavior, social behavior, eating behavior, musical memor, and gaming behavior!!

So let's talk reality in relationships.  Right now I know more WOMEN than men cheating on their partners.  Recent studies and publications show up to a 50% increase in female cheaters or about 1 in 6 married women.   We're not going to know the real numbers because we're just starting to talk about this more or less research it!  How will we know anyway if the old adage is true that men and women cheat the same, men just get caught more often!

Scan the male profiles on any dating site and you might get an idea of why men really are "committment phobic" or truly can't "attach emotionally to one partner".  80% of them request women who aren't dramatic, have crazy baby-daddy's, aren't money hungry, or just plain ass crazy!  Who does all the nagging in a relationship?  Who withholds sex in a relationship?  Who catches a man then when the ring is on has a whole new set of expectations?  I'm not trying to bash women here, but quite frankly I think men get the short end of the stick more often then women in relationships.

Although men are not voles, they are not complicated animals.  I mean no disrespect but it's fairly simple.  My male students always told me you can categorize men in four boxes:  Food, Sex, Sleep and Other.  Like any good animal you need to feed them with care.  Men like food and they like it when you cook for them.   Notice food came before sex.  Men like sex.  So just have sex with them and have it a lot.  Even when you think its enough,  have some more.  Men need to sleep so let them sleep!  Don't bug them and don't nag them if they want to take a nap.  Lastly, men like to do what they like to do which falls in the "Other" or sometimes called "Sports" category.  Let the man do what he likes to do and don't attach yourself to his hip!  If he asks you to go to a game, watch him play, or go hiking then go!  Just don't take over this category or deny it!  A man has to have man time!

I think if more women followed these simple rules men would have less genetic influences on their pair bonding behaviors.  They'd be happily fed, sexed voles hanging out in their cave sleeping!